Sneaker culture hasn’t just gotten more crowded or more aggro over the last couple of years, it’s lost its mind. If you can’t double your return—or the size of your foot—with your chosen pair, it’s reasonable to question whether your taste in sneakers is up to par. Buying sneakers that are cooler than you has its merits (such as justifying a new wardrobe to go with them) but there are other options. Like wearing a pair so refined and so quiet, they qualify as passive aggressive. Were not talking about white leather, which is fine, we’re talking about whisper soft gray suede. The color that rich babies wear. And in a material that is the opposite of tech-y. And formed into the most simple silhouette in the sneaker canon; the tennis shoe. Go ahead, free your feet. We dare you.